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Ok, I have put off writing this post long enough. Nothing horrible has happened. On the contrary amazing things are happening. It’s just that I have been struggling with how to put into words the position we are in. So much can get misinterpreted on these blogs. Not that I really care what a bunch of strangers think but I do care that those close to us really know our hearts. So that is where I have been struggling lately.

First an adoption update. After rejoicing loudly about our speedy exit out of IBESR we were informed that we now owed the next installment of our adoption fees. This wasn’t a total surprise but one that really took the air out of our celebration. While we are still amazed and thankful at the mountain God moved getting us through IBESR so monumentally fast we are feeling quite lost at trying to know where He wants us to go now.

HOWEVER before I go to that “lost” place, listen to this!

The total due at this point to get our file moving again is $9,900.00. We do not have any of this at this point (I will try and explain this later). After receiving this bill I began immediately praying for provision and direction. I will admit, I had a minor panic attack but felt peace once I spent time in prayer. This all happened the week before halloween. Skip to Halloween night, we are at a party and a family that we have come to know through the friend who is hosting the party, hands Paul an envelope. Inside…a $5,000.00 check. Incredible right? They said God has been laying our adoption and our boys on their hearts for a while now and they just knew they were supposed to give. It was once again a display of faith and discipline like I have never experienced before this journey.

SO, back to my initial struggle. We owe a lot of money ( $4,900 at this point in time) that we don’t have and I feel like there are people out there asking why we would ever even begin a journey like this without the financial means to do so. I do not want it to appear that we are asking our friends and family to finance us at every turn. That is not the case. A year ago we were simply in a different financial place. What was expected to come in as income in 2009 was drastically cut by the turn of the economy. We took a leap of faith that God would provide us with the necessary means to make this happen and He has! We have been able to pay for more than half of the approximate $30,000.00 it will cost to bring our boys home. What we did not ever expect was to have moved through this last step so quickly. We thought we would have at least until the first of next year until another large chunk was due. So the questions remain… what does God have planned for this part of the cost. Are we supposed to ask others to help? If so, who and how? See the confusion?

Paul and I are determined to remain faithful to our God. We know we are meant to be on THIS path at THIS time. He knows where this money will come from and He knows when. That does not take away the pain of knowing our file is sitting somewhere idol when it could be moving and bringing the boys homecoming closer! That is pain we feel everyday and every night. We choose to combat that pain with prayer and faith. That is at this point something we CAN do.

I have also spent the last week gathering applications for grants and adoption loans. These application processes almost make our dossier prep look easy!!!!!! Filling them out though, makes me feel as though I am not just sitting by and waiting for another check to arrive. On paper our financial need looks minimal, I am praying that the people who read the applications look beyond the numbers and really hear our story.

So there you go. The post that took me almost 2 weeks to write. I am happy to have it out there. I needed to get it out of my head!!!!!

In less than 2 weeks we will be with our boys again! That is worth a shout of praise!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This will sound uneventful to most of you but for those who have gone or are going through a Haitian adoption this is MONUMENTAL!!!!!! We are officially out of IBESR and in the next step called Parquet.  This is monumentally huge people.  I have seen files stuck in IBESR for months, a couple, for more than a year.  We still have a really LONG way to go but God has seen fit to move our file over an incredibly high mountain.  I have also been told that there is yet another meeting scheduled between the Haitian government and the adoption world during November.  These meetings have happened many times before with little or no improvement in the process but still… if they are meeting then there is HOPE!!!!!!  So what’s next, it is way too complicated to post the full explanation but in a nutshell here are the remaining steps:  Parquet, Legalization & Foreign Affairs, MOI, Passport, I600 approval/DNA(we have already completed this step successfully) and the final step the VISA!!!  When you look at that list it can still seem overwhelming and frustrating but not tonight.  Tonight we REJOICE!  We send up praise and thanksgiving!!  So join us in Thanking an amazing God who totally rocks!!!!

Ok, so first, the story of how it is we are going to Haiti, long but worth the read:

As you all know from my prior post I have been struggling with the possible reality of us not being able to visit our boys in November. My emotions have run the course from anger to frustration to sadness to disappointment and more. To be brutally honest I was guilty of coveting what I know some of our friends have. I could not understand why God would not just speak to them, tell them to send us. I admit, I spent WAY to much time on this but, as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. I was (am) desperate to be able to see our boys.

All through this I was praying one simple prayer each day, all day… God, Please send us provision for this trip. I was also seeking counsel from all our wise christian friends. (THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!) and dove into scripture and study.
Then, this past Monday I was on the phone with a dear friend of ours ( one of the friends I was secretly coveting!!!) and she told me she had something for me but I had to wait until I saw her the next day. If you knew this friend you would know she is crazy wonderful and her idea of a “gift” could range from a silly t-shirt from Wal Mart to who knows what. I got off the phone and told Paul about the conversation. At that point I said to him ” You know what? I am totally at peace with this.” No more frustration, no more questioning God, absolutely no more coveting, no more anything but peace with God, with the situation, with whatever might happen. TOTAL PEACE! It felt amazing.

Flash forward to Tuesday…
I had totally forgotten about “The surprise”. I met up with our friend and she had this HUGE smile on her face and handed me a small box. It was a jewelry box and I was excited to see what it was. I opened it up to find out it was actually a box of cold, hard cash!!!!!!!!! I was shocked and thrilled and overwhelmed and more.
BUT WAIT, there is more to the story, the money did not come from anyone we even know, it was from a friend of “Crazy, Wonderful Friend”. AND the money had actually been available during the past weekend but she did not realize it. Not until AFTER I realized I was at peace with God over whatever His plan was! How amazing is our GOD!!!! How FREAKIN” AMAZING IS OUR GOD!!!!! The cool thing too, Paul was with me and the 3 of us immediately prayed over this money, thanked God and prayed for wisdom and direction. It was, for me, a life changing moment.

Besides the fact that we now have more than enough money for BOTH of us to go to see our boys, this blessing has allowed me to share testimony to so many people. It seems that we, as faithful people, always talk about how we need to “Let go and let God.” but that is one of the single most difficult things for me to do and from my conversations with others, for them to do as well. This is one of those times that proves ONCE AGAIN, He is just waiting for us to truly lay it all at His feet. Do we always get this kind of blessing? NO. But do we always get blessed? Absolutely!!!

So, all that leads me to this….

Many of you have asked us what you can do to help. Below is a list of some things we are hoping to take with us on our trip. When we were in Haiti last, we met some wonderful staff at the hotel we stayed at. We are staying there again and would like to bring some things down to them. Of course we also have a list of things for the boys and the orphanage as well AND we support the Livesay Family and the ministry they work for, Heartline Ministries, through prayer and giving and would like to bring down a suitcase full of goodies for them. I will be adding to this list as I am waiting to hear back from Tara as to what she may need us to bring down.
As always PRAYER is the first request both for us as we plan and for continued good health and safety for the boys.

Donation Ideas:

Large Used Suitcases-we need 4 that can stay in Haiti
Infant and/or toddler formula
Pedia Sure
Peanut Butter
Pull-Ups (medium sized)
OTC Meds- Cough Syrup, Tylenol(adult and kids) Benedryl
Vaseline
Hydrocortisone Cream
Granola Bars
Toddler & Childrens Undies
Tooth Brushes & Toothpaste
Flip Flops (children & adult sizes)
MP3 players (used is great)
Baby Lotion
Simple Children’s Reading Books
Match Box Cars
Small baby Dolls
Stickers
Children’s Sunglasses
Bubbles
Playdough
Coloring Books & Crayons

Also, if anyone has any pool toys,especially swimmies or swim vests we could borrow, that would be awesome. The boys LOVE the pool but 2 parents and three boys makes for crazy times and near death drownings. (Ok only ONE and not really near death but scary just the same)

PRAISE GOD
This is definitely the post I was hoping to write. WE ARE GOING TO HAITI IN NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!
We have been praying for provision and I have an amazing story to tell when I get it all down in my brain. For now, the Lord has provided us with the means to go visit the Boys and we have been praising our amazing God! He sent two, not one, but two angels and we are in awe!!!! Please send a shout out in praise with us!!!! We get to hug our boys in exactly 37 days!!!!!! Tickets are booked!

SO…. I will be putting together a list of things we will be collecting to bring down with us. Right now I can tell you that we will bring some more peanut butter and Pedia Sure. We would also like to bring down some Infant Formula for one of the hotel workers we met on our last trip. I will add to this list in the next few days!!!!!

Ok, this is a post asking for thoughts and opinions NOT money, I want to be clear on that.

Paul and I recently began Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It is great and we are on the path( a long path) to being debt free. Like most people who turn to Dave Ramsey’s programs for help, we carry a fair share of debt with no savings to speak of. The good news is that we see a very clear light at the end of this long tunnel. We are committed and excited.

Here is where I need your thoughts. We were just asked today to sort of lead a group of families down to visit our kids in November (20th to 24th). I won’t go in to details but suffice it to say it would be another glorious 3 days hanging out with our boys in PAP. If we use airline points to get there (which we believe we can) than the cost of the trip would stand at about $1100.00 for everything for the 2 of us. Staying on track with our budget, NOT skipping ANY bills and eating a poor man’s diet, we still can’t come up with all of it.

Here is where I need wisdom. Is it God’s direction that we NOT see our boys because we don’t have the funds? Do we take that as a “sign” that we should not even try to go? Do we once again put out a plea? I hate doing that. I also hate the thought of not going. The next trip will not be until spring so we are talking about 8 months until we could see them again.

It’s funny, just a few days ago I was feeling like I did not want to go and visit again. I dread the end when we have to say goodbye, but now the thought of not seeing them again for more than half a year is killing me.

I do know this, we will NOT take on more debt or screw up the path we are on to take this trip. SO, do we answer yes and pray that God provides? Meanwhile what do we do to help with His provision? Do we say no and not even try? What to do??? I am and will be praying so that need not be an answer, what else?

Is this what “blind faith” is all about? Would appreciate your wisdom!!!

Struggling with all of this and yet still faithfully praying them home

Every single person who is or has gone through this adoption roller coaster will identify with this post.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to tell someone about our boys and our adoption. I love being able to talk both about the boys as well as Haiti. During this particular conversation though, I became very emotional, shed some tears actually and I don’t usually do that. Don’t get me wrong I shed plenty of tears in private however I am usually able to hold it together. In response this wonderful, Godly woman, whom I respect and enjoy began to dispense some Godly wisdom that I would normally find comforting. Wisdom that I believe, that God is loving on them all the time, that this will all happen in His time, that the boys really don’t know what they are missing. I believe these things… on my rational days. This day was not one of those. This day was the kind of day where I could scream. The kind of day where I just want my freakin’ boys home period. No wisdom needed just send them home!!!!! I understand, on my rational days, that the boys are safe, that they don’t know the things in life they are missing that they are in an environment that is normal for them. On the other days I really don’t care about all that, I want my boys here so we can sit together in bed and read stories, so they came meet their big brother and big sister, so that when they get hurt we can kiss there owies away, so that they can eat 3 healthy meals a day, they can learn about God, they can ride a bike, go to the zoo, eat cookies and milk, sing silly songs in the bathtub I could go on and on. JUST BRING THEM THE HECK HOME!!!!!!
Fortunately these days only come every once in a while. I am guessing though, as time goes on, the frequency will increase. So I guess those of you who know me well, be warned. When you ask me about the boys I cannot promise you which response you will get. If my eyes get glassy and my back stiffens you have 2 choices… RUN LIKE H*#@ (and I will not hold it against you if you do!) or say a prayer with me.

With all that said, I DO trust my God and I know that He is in all of this. Actually, I don’t know how anyone could do this WITHOUT a relationship with Christ. My crazy days would WAY outnumber my rational days if that were the case. In the end God is Good, I can never say that too much!
Continuing to Pray them home.

Until the next post, enjoy the latest pics of the boys!

Okay, this time WE make money off of every t-shirt sale to help bring the boys home and another family makes money towards their adoption process as well.  SO, by buying a shirt or two you are essentially supporting two families and a mess of kids.  How Cool!!!! Just click away on the logo below OR  right here!  As always thanks for your unending support!!!!!!!